What Should Have Happened
by Sacraa
Summary: A counter-part of sorts to WIWSTS. A collection of VA AUs.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything.**

 **Vampire Academy.**

 **Alternate Ending.**

 _ **Shadow kiss. Cave scene.**_

 _ **1.0**_

* * *

Pain. That was all I could feel. I felt like someone was hammering the inside of my head. It hurt. A lot. My vision blurred. It was a thousand times worse than the car accident.

 _Make it stop, please make it stop, I begged._

My screams didn't stop. For a scary moment, I couldn't feel myself, much less things around me. Then something changed inside of me. Something powerful erupted inside me. I felt lighter, somehow. The pain was still there but, something else started to take control of me. Then I saw it or rather saw them. Dark shadow like things emerged from the cave walls. They formed a circle around me, others wrapped themselves around the Strigoi.

 _Kill them. Revenge him. Revenge us._

It was a flood of half moans half screams inside my head. Like someone scratching their nails on chalkboard. A shudder ran through my spine. I welcomed the noises. They were powerful and for some reason angry too.

I closed my eyes.

 _Kill them!_

Suddenly I wasn't standing in the caves anymore. The pain was still there but it seemed like I was in control of it. I looked around. There was nothing. It was a huge room perhaps. There was no light, just different hues of black.

The moans were still there. But they seemed like they were far, far away. My heart pounded faster. For some reason I felt like I had been here before. But I had never seen anything like this. Something shimmered in the darkness. I couldn't move. I had no idea where to take a step. There was so much fog clinging to my legs.

Mason appeared in front of me. He was...glowing? But he wasn't alone. There were people with him whom I recognized as those who had died in the battle. There were some new faces too. A few of them were the Strigoi that I had killed.

"Mason." I whispered. It was hard to hear even my own voice.

The Dead continued to stare at me. The moans increased. The pain increased. I clutched my head and screamed. The souls came closer and closer.

My mouth was opened in a scream but what came out was something I hadn't intended to say.

 _Fight for us_.

And I opened my eyes, I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. My limbs seemed to work on their own. I ran towards the blond Strigoi. He'd released the dark-haired man. Who was he, I couldn't remember. All I saw was red. I plunged the stake in my hand into the Strigoi's heart.

He fell with a groan which made my lips curl.

Next was a male too, he took a step forward. But I jumped on him. My arm went around his neck, choking him, His nails scrapped at my arm, making me even more angry. A deep throaty noise rang around us and I realized it was me. My hand tightened around the stake, I plunged it into his chest.

I heard yelling behind me. But I didn't care. The shadows were all around me, strengthening me.

 _Go in. There are more of them._ They seemed to whisper. I agreed with them. My body thirsted for a challenge.

Then something shoved me from behind. I turned with a harsh glare on my face. I snarled in anger and frustration.

I saw the man's lips move- he was the same dark haired one. I couldn't hear him over the voices in my head. Something hit me over the head and everything blackened.

* * *

 **Hello everyone. This is something I have been meaning to post for a while now (by a while I mean like more than a year. Those who read What I Was Supposed To Say would know. I am so sorry for the delay.)**

 **This story is going to be a collection of AUs from all the books. You could suggest some too.**

 **I have also decided to give them numbers as titles not names because it is difficult to name chapters.**

 **I hope you liked this one. Don't worry, it has more parts.**

 **See you soon.**

 **Sacraa.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own VA.**

 **Vampire Academy.**

 **Alternate Ending.**

 **Shadow Kiss.**

 _ **1.1**_

* * *

Blackness, it was utter blackness. I had no other words to describe it. It was that kind of dark in which you couldn't even see yourself. Maybe I was back in that weird room. I seriously didn't even want to know what that room had been.

 _Stay with us, you belong to us._

There were moans all around me. I tried to raise my arms, to feel something, anything but I was frozen. And suddenly very scared. Something was shining, just a few feet away from me. Then, to my horror, more humanoid figures began to glow.

 _Rose, Rose. Stay with us._

 _We miss you._

 _You were supposed to die!_

 _You are a traitor to us._

 _Traitor!_

 _Wake up,_ I yelled at myself. _Wake up you, moron! You need to wake up._

The blackness slowly started to fade. And pain was filling up the space. With a groan, I opened my eyes. The light hurt my eyes. It was too bright after the darkness. I blinked a couple of time.

Good god, did it hurt a lot!

"Roza?" Even though my eyes were still out of focus, I knew who that voice belonged to.

"Hey, comrade." I said, my voice low and hoarse. I swallowed, my throat was dry. "Water?"

Dimitri was hurriedly pouring me a glass. I tried to sit up and successfully managed to not even being able to lift my head. Dimitri gently helped me up. I winced as his hand touched the back of my head.

"Sorry." He murmured and lifted the glass to my lips. I greedily drank the water, some of it dripping down my chin, which he wiped. Embarrassed slightly, I looked away.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"More than twelve hours. The sun is up." He said, sitting on the only chair in the room.

I frowned. All the worry, the tension, came flooding back to me. I could barely remember what had happened at the caves. My head was pounding, not just mentally but physically too. I must have hit my head. But it was hard to believe that I had been out for more than half a day.

I remembered him fighting with the blond Strigoi and then pain lots of pain. But for now, what mattered was that he was alive.

"I'll get-"

I cut him off. "What happened?"

He hesitated. I hoped he wasn't going to start on me needing to rest first. I could handle it. Whatever it was. I had fought in a battle after all.

"You snapped, Rose. You lost control." Dimitri said.

I couldn't handle it.

Fear crawled on my body. I couldn't look at him. He was holding my hand tightly. My eyes were stinging. My vision was blurry. It was happening again this time I hadn't (consciously at least) taken the darkness from Lissa. Twice in just a couple of days. It felt like every minute, I was getting closer to the world of the dead (even if it _did_ exist) and getting further away from my own world.

This time it had been worse. I had heard their cries. I had felt their pain. Who knew what was going to happen the next time? The spirits, _ghosts,_ had taken humanoid form. They hadn't been the same weird skull-like things like before.

I leaned my head against him. "Tell me exactly what happened." I whispered.

He pulled back slightly before continuing. "Maybe the princess had used too much spirit. You weren't even responding to any of us. Roza, there were...ghosts. We saw them. They emerged out of nowhere. They were the only thing that kept all of us safe. And you tried to run back in. Your mother had to knock you out before you could go deeper in the cave. Adrian asked the Princess to take her meds. She had been using too much spirit. Adrian tried to heal you, but none of the elemental magic worked on you. He said something about your aura starting to fade and then it turned black."

"You-you saw the ghosts?" I asked.

He nodded. "I am sorry that I had a hard time believing. They were terrifying. They didn't hurt any of us but gave the Strigoi a hard time. The sun was going down, we barely had ten minutes left. It's because of you that half the team is alive."

"I saw the dead, Dimitri. The souls of everyone who had died during the battle, Moroi, Dhampir and even the Strigoi."

I shivered as I recalled. "But that wasn't it. The other souls wanted me to join them. Dimitri, they called me a traitor. They said they would make me join them, that I belonged to them." I could feel my eyes start to sting. I looked at my hands which were still shaking.

"Rose. Roza, look at me." Dimitri said. He cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"I don't want to die." I cried.

"I am not going to let anything happen to you. We will go through this together." He said firmly.

"But-" I started to say.

His thumb stroked my lips. "I promised you, didn't I?"

I nodded. The memory was still fresh in my head. And it probably would remain like this for the rest of my life. If I managed to stay alive, that is.

"I love you." I whispered.

I felt him kiss my head. "I love you too, Roza. I have to go call the doctor."

I nodded.

Dimitri was back in under just a minute with the school doctor.

"My favorite patient is up." Dr. Olendzki said with a tired smile. She had bags under her eyes. With everything going on she probably hadn't had time to even take a nap.

I couldn't even bring myself to say a snarky remark. She checked me out while Dimitri stood in a corner.

Great, she was putting me on bed rest for the next four days. I was not going to have my training sessions Dimitri (for another half a week), I was permanently taken out from the field test and I would have to go to Deirdre twice as much as I did before. But hey, I could leave the hospital after a few hours of observations.

"I need the field test to graduate." I had said and she had called Alberta to prove her point.

I scowled the whole time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dimitri slightly shake his head.

"Belikov," Alberta exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

Dr. Olendzki answered her questions. "Miss Dragomir didn't want to leave Rose alone. Guardian Belikov volunteered to stay with her so that Miss Dragomir could go to bed."

Thank Vladimir for the doctor's response. It would have been so difficult to get Alberta understand our situation. Dimitri could have been fired. I could have been thrown out.

Alberta had of course seen the 'ghosts' and she was having a hard time being around me. Even if she didn't show it, I still knew.

I was officially a freak.

The days that passed were filled with grief for everyone. There was silence all over the Academy. Classes had started running on the fourth day. Students were barely seen out of their rooms after their classes ended. It was either the confinement of their rooms for everyone or the chapel. A memorial service was organized to honor the dead. The families of the students, especially the royals, had wanted to come to the school to ensure the safety of their children but noon was allowed to come. Having more Moroi on campus meant having more people to worry about.

The Guardians and some novices were given a _Zvezda_ each. It was a tiny star indicating that a guardian had been in a battle and killed unknown number of Strigoi. Christian had been offered to get a zevzda mark too. He had agreed. It was unheard of, but Christian wore it with honor.

Whatever injuries I had were healed by Adrian. Little by little, he had managed to heal me. He had been exhausted afterwards. Lissa was on meds, something she was doing for _me._ I knew she felt slightly helpless as if someone had taken away a part of her, but she told me she had been even more helpless watching me on the bed when I was out.

Dimitri and I hadn't been able to talk again after I left the hospital. I had about two weeks' time off, then the field tests would be over and Lissa would start pestering me about exams. Sure, I was good at the practical part, but theory was something that made me go mad.

I seriously didn't want to think about it. My birthday was tomorrow and it was also the day I was going to start my trainings with Dimitri again. I wasn't really excited about. After everything that had happened, it seemed... wrong to feel any sort of excitement.

I had been spending most of my time in my room, obviously. But when I had been finally allowed to leave my room, I spent the whole time with Eddie, Lissa, Christain and Adrian.

At the current moment though, I was with my mother. She was packing as she was leaving in a few hours. We hadn't really talked. But I had a couple of things to tell her before she left.

She continued to fold her clothes while I sat on a chair with my knees up.

"Mom." I said finally after a lot of silence.

She looked up. "Yes, Rose."

I took a deep breath before uttering, "I am sorry...about the way I have been in the past. I understand why you," a lump formed in my throat, "I want you to know that I don't hate you."

Anything else that I had wanted to say were drown by her fierce hug.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Rose. I haven't been the mother you deserve."

I shook my head, "You are the one I look up to, Mom. Watching you as their leader, it was kinda amazing. I hope I am at least half as badass as you are, when I grow up."

"You are going to be one of the best. I know it. And I also know you won't be making the same mistakes as I did. Whatever you choose in your future, I know it will be right." She said with a smile.

My smile mirrored hers. She went back to her clothes.

Perhaps it was the right time to mention the other thing too.

"Uh, you know, the Queen mentioned about my father. Is his name Ibrahim?"

I saw her stiffen for a moment. "Yes."

I chose to continue. "Does he know about me?"

She nodded, "He does." She sat down on her bed with a sigh, "He was there when you were born. He was there for the nights when you kept me up," she smiled briefly, "he was there to do all the dirty work."

I could see her struggling to keep her expression in control.

"He was there for your first step, for your first word. We were so happy, Rose. I thought I had everything with me. And I did, even if it was for just a moment. Then it got snatched away." I heard the pain in her voice, but in another second it was gone.

The topic was closed... for now at least.

* * *

 **So here it is. I had to write this again because I didn't like the previous one that I wrote.**

 **Thank you for reading and following and reviewing WSHH.**

 **Thank you so, so much for your responses. And here's another thing. I want ideas for what Lissa, Dimitri and Adrian would have gotten for Rose's birthday.**

 **For Lissa, it would be something unique and a bit expensive. (I was thinking something like matching bracelets maybe?)**

 **For Dimitri, it would be something simple and something that Rose would have wanted for a long time. (In Blood Promise, Rose mentions their trip to Idaho. So maybe something that Rose saw there? Not a silver stake)**

 **As for Adrian, it would be something flashy. Something not-so-practical.**

 **So, suggestions please.**

 **See you soon.**

 **Sacraa.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own VA.**

 **Vampire Academy.**

 _ **Shadow Kiss.**_

 _ **1.2**_

* * *

My day couldn't have started worse.

I hadn't fallen asleep until late. And it _was_ very late. First, I had gotten pulled into Lissa's head. Then I when I had managed to sleep, I had gotten a terrible dream. Well, it _did_ start out good. But it had turned scary afterwards. Dimitri and I had been together and it had involved very less clothing and then suddenly he had started to fade, like one of the ghosts. I had woken up screaming like a banshee. Then after comforting myself that Dimitri was probably sleeping in his room, I had finally, _finally_ fallen asleep.

Not even three hours later, the shrill of my alarm woke me up. That goddamn thing! And I couldn't even throw it at the wall, seeing as I didn't have any more clocks.

For once, I was twenty minutes early. And Dimitri wasn't there.

Dimitri I-am-never-late Belikov wasn't there. Okay, he wasn't technically late. I was just early. But I was frustrated due to the lack of sleep.

He arrived ten minutes later. I was sitting in the middle of the gym and he stopped at the entrance to look at me with an eyebrow raised and an amused smiled on his lips.

"You are early." He said.

I raised my hand, not wanting to put an effort in getting up. He pulled me up and put the back of his hand against my forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?"

I swatted his hand away. "I am fine."

His amusement faded and a rare, full smile crept on his face.

"Happy birthday, Roza." He said, his hand reaching out to touch my face. He lightly brushed his hand against my cheek. My mind went back to the dream that I had earlier. Even the lightest touch made me feel warm all over.

I smiled widely, turning my head slightly, I kissed his palm.

"I got you something." He said.

I was immediately excited. "You didn't have to." I said. It was right. He didn't have to. The best gift I'd ever received or rather fought to receive was him.

"It's nothing special, I mean it just-"

I couldn't believe my eyes. Dimitri Belikov was rambling and he was nervous.

I cut him off and raised my palm. With a small smile, he deposited a paper bag in my hand. Eagerly, I opened it. Inside was an anklet. The strap was black and there was a tiny silver anchor. My smile had never left my face.

"The shopkeeper said it signified hope and strength. She said an anchor is seen as the beginning of a journey. Roza, I know we have face a lot in the past. I know our future won't be easy. But whatever happens, I want you to know that we will face it together."

I cut off whatever more he wanted to say. I couldn't describe what I was feeling. I only knew it was intense. Knowing that I would probably utter something unintelligible, I threw my arms around him.

"I love you." I whispered.

He was right. Whatever the future might hold for us, we would face it together. He was always going to be there for me, just like I was going to for him. It would be our own adventure, our journey of hope and love and so much more. We would make it work, no matter what. Together, we could do it.

We held on to each other for another moment, seeking comfort in each other's arms. But the spell was short and soon was broken.

Since it was my first day back at training and I had been in the hospital for a while, we were going to take it easy. It _was_ kind of boring, but I understood his worry. There weren't any more of our moments, just some glances and small smiles.

I suddenly couldn't even remember why I had been grumpy earlier this morning.

I met my friends for breakfast.

Lissa was screaming with excitement. Turning eighteen was a big deal. Somehow, she had even made Christian look excited for me. Well, now that was something. Eddie made sure to tease him endlessly about it.

Sure, Christian and I hadn't gotten along together at first. I mean we still kind of didn't. He was still infuriating. But after everything that happened, we were starting to change. Who would have thought that I, _Rose Hathaway,_ would be calling Christian Ozera my friend.

As usual, Adrian sat along with them. Someone had apparently informed him for my birthday. He had come prepared. There was a bouquet of lavender roses waiting for me on the table. Someone really needed to tell him that I wasn't really into rose stuff. But well, at least they weren't red roses.

"Happy Birthday, Rose." Lissa had pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thanks, Liss." I hugged her back.

"I got your gift here, since you have the next few hours free and I wouldn't have been able to talk to you until lunch." Lissa handed me two shopping bags, "Open them later."

I nodded, "Thank you so much." I kissed her cheek. She was doing a great job of hiding my gift. Damn.

"Well, cousin. It's my turn now." Adrian gave his usual carefree smile. His hair was perfectly styled in its usual messy way.

I rolled my eyes as he handed me the flowers and bowed. "Here's another one." He handed me a neatly wrapped gift box. It was the width of Dimitri's two westerns put right next to each other.

"Adrian, I can't accept that." I said. I wasn't really used to this. Sure, Lissa and I traded gifts all the time but this was different. Adrian had once sent me a box full of perfumes. That had been without any occasion. This time it could be much worse.

 _Don't worry. It's not bad. I helped him chose._

"Don't break my heart, little dhampir." Adrian said in mock hurt.

I rolled my eyes but still said a thanks. It was nice of him, I guess. But I hoped accepted he didn't take me accepting his gifts as me warming up to him.

He pulled in a hug. Almost immediately, I pulled back.

"Thanks, Adrian." I said genuinely.

I sat down next to Lissa, and attacked my plate.

That was the moment when the message came. A guardian, one of those who had replaced the ones who had died. I cringed at the thought.

"Princess, Miss Hathaway, here. Its from the Royal Court." He left right after handing us the thick envelope.

Lissa and I frowned.

"What do you think it is?" Lissa asked Adrian.

Adrian shrugged. "No idea."

The stuff that the envelope was made up of was heavy and thick. It was in the traditional Ivashkov color-red- and the color kept for a king or a queen-purple. I opened it with less grace than Lissa.

The paper inside was made of the same material I opened it and read it. Once and then twice.

"What the fuck?" I said.

Lissa's expression mirrored my own. Christian was reading the letter over her shoulder and so was Eddie. Adrian snatched mine.

It was an invitation, more like an order by the Queen. We were to fly to Court on twenty-fifth and meet her on twenty-sixth to 'discuss some confidential matters.'

What the hell was that supposed to mean? What confidential matters? Hadn't she already discussed with Lissa about Lehigh? Now what did she want?

What if she read the reports on the attack and knew about the ghosts? Oh god, what if she said that I wasn't not suitable for Lissa?

Clearly someone had done a lot of thinking. We were summoned right away and the fact that we had received elegant and beautiful invitations. It couldn't be _that_ bad. Lissa sent me calming thoughts. I knew she was as worried I was. But she was a princess. Princess and Princes were summoned by Tatiana all the time but their Guardians didn't get any special invitations

Adrian frowned.

"What?" I asked.

"I know nothing about it. How could I know nothing about it?" Adrian said. The intensity with which he said the words made me roll my eyes.

"Well, I wonder why is that. Oh, right, maybe that's because the world doesn't revolve around you." I said focusing on my breakfast sandwich.

"Hate to be the one breaking it, guys but classes start in ten minutes." Christian said.

I scowled, "Well, see you later, I guess."

"Don't worry, little dhampir. I'll keep you company." Adrian said with a grin which probably made some girls go crazy.

 _Well, that's nice of him._ Lisa smirked at her yogurt. Seriously, someone needed to tell her to have something other than yogurt. And someone also needed to tell her to stop making suggestive comments about Adrian and I.

I shot her a look.

 _Oh, come on. He likes you. He might have a reputation but he's not that bad. You have to date again._

I mentally let out a sigh. Maybe it was time that I told her about Dimitri and I.

 _No, no._ I scolded myself. I couldn't risk anything right now. _Graduation._ I told myself. _I would tell her a few days before graduation._

Keeping something this huge from Lissa was hard and I felt so guilty about it. She would understand. I was sure of that. But still.

 _What's wrong?_ She frowned.

I shook my head with a smile. "You'll be late. Go." I said.

She kissed Christian and gave Adrian a smile.

Man, here it was again. She could kiss her boyfriend anytime she wanted and no one else would bat an eye.

"See you later." Eddie said.

I nodded.

Christian stood up too. "Later Ivashkov, Hathaway."

"So," Adrian started when it was just the two of us left, "what do you want to do? I mean I am up for everything."

"Can't we have one conversation which does not involve your stupid innuendos." I said, annoyed. "I need another sandwich." I got up, hoping that there would be some left.

"How much do dhampirs eat?" Adrian asked.

"We burn food faster than Moroi and humans." I shrugged. "Besides, training always makes me hungry."

I decided to eat my sandwich in my room. I picked up the gifts and said bye to Adrian. He gave me a two finger salute.

Back in my room, like a little kid, I ripped apart the bags.

Lissa had given me all sorts of makeup. There were two eyeshadow palettes, a set of brushes, bronzer, blushes, mascara, gel eyeliner almost everything. There was also a dress with a note that said 'for graduation. Christian pitched in too.' She had made sure to remove all the price tags. I sighed. The dress and all the make-up were something I would have never spent my money on. I mean sure, I had some makeup products, mostly the drugstore ones, but this was some expensive stuff.

There was a white cardboard box in the bag, attached to it was a note.

' _Rose, Mase wanted to give you this. We came across these pictures when we were packing for ski trip. He pulled some strings there and got them framed._

 _I just wish he could have given this to you in person._

 _Happy Birthday, Rose.'_

There were two pictures. One of Eddie, Mason and I when we were thirteen. It was Christmas and Lissa had left with her family. Mason hadn't been able to go back home that year either. But the three of us had spent our time in the commons coming up with the traditions of our own which we would follow when we got older. One of the guardians had taken the picture. The other was of the recent school dance.

Lissa was standing with Christian. I stood next to Mason. Eddie was next to us. There were a few more of our classmates, both Moroi and Dhampirs.

"I miss you, Mase." I whispered.

I spent a few more minute staring at his face. For a brief moment, I let myself drown in the what ifs that I had managed to keep at bay. I let my walls down. Not the darkness ones but the emotional ones.

Had it been just a few months since Mason and I had laughed about skiing? Just a few months since he had threatened Jesse and Ralf for me. Just a few months since we hadn't cared about anything that we would face in the future.

A few traitorous tears fell.

It took me a few minutes to regain control over my emotions.

I opened Adrian's present next, hoping it wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't. It was a jacket. An expensive one, a gorgeous one. There was a note too, _no more Salvation Army stuff for you._

How did he know about that? It was considerate of him. I had been dreading his gift so much. It was completely unexpected. Adrian Ivashkov buying me something practical. Sure it was expensive and I wasn't going to be able to afford it even if I tried saving money. Guardians didn't get paid _that_ well. For someone willing to sacrifice their lives, all we got was 'Eternal Service' written on our graves.

Huh, who knew the Adrian Ivashkov was more than just a pretty face. Maybe I had been too harsh.

Shaking out of my thoughts, I decided to spend the rest of my time on the computer, suddenly grateful that the Academy was well aware of the latest technology. I had a new e-mail from mom. Just two words, _happy birthday._ I smiled and sent a reply. Then wondered if I should have or shouldn't have sent one.

The Internet didn't hold my interest today. My mind kept wandering to what Tatiana wanted from me now. Sure, she thought that I wasn't suitable for the last Dragomir, sure she thought that Adrian and I were going run off. But send out a proper invitation? _To a dhampir?_ I couldn't digest it.

I was to graduate in a few months. Lissa would request me as her Guardian. Dimitri would ask to be reassigned. If the Guardian Council thought I was good enough, they would allow me to get Lissa. But if Tatiana wanted Lissa to have someone else, no one would be able to stop her.

Groaning, I buried my face in my hands.

First, I would focus on graduating. I need to pass not only in the trials but in my other exams as well.

I _was_ going to graduate. I _was_ going to be a guardian. I would have Dimitri and Lissa, both with me. I would have my friends, my family by my side.

A knock on the door made me jumped. I mentally chastised myself for being startled over something small as knocking.

I opened the door. The girl standing there was two years junior than me. She was fidgeting. I couldn't quite remember her name.

"Hey, Rose, the headmistress...she and Guardian Petrov want to...to see you in Kirova's office." She kept touching her blond hair nervously.

"Are you alright?" I asked. I wasn't intimidating her, was I? It felt like meeting Jill again.

"Uh, yes." She blinked as if surprised.

"Thanks for telling." I smiled.

"Welcome, I guess. Bye." She said.

I nodded.

Great, first Tatiana and now Kirova. Wasn't the report on the attack enough? It had already been hard telling the Guardians about the battle.

I shut off my computer and locked the door, wondering what new thing I was going to face now.

* * *

 _ **Well, here's the third chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing.**_

 _ **Dragon Ball Super episode 131 comes out in a few hours! It's going to be hard watching it and yet exciting at the same time.**_

 _ **See you soon.**_

 _ **Sacraa.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I don't own VA.**_

 _ **Vampire Academy.**_

 _ **Shadow Kiss.**_

 _ **1.3**_

* * *

Considering the times, I had been to Kirova's office, I should have become an honorable member or something. But in my senior year, I had indeed broken my record of going to Kirova's office. My freshman year consisted of me meeting Alberta or Kirova and sometimes both of them at least twice a week.

The corridors were empty, except for a few Guardians and a handful of students. A couple of times I peeked into a few classes. It made me glad that I didn't have to attend any class for the next few days. A lot of students had left the school, especially the royals. After all, an attack on a heavily guarded Academy was unheard of. This probably was the first school to be attacked in about five years or so. Strigoi usually stuck to attacking homes of Moroi or preferred to kill them while they were travelling. Or sometimes attack unsuspecting Moroi at parties or in clubs. Now, that was the easiest way of killing Moroi. But then again, the attack had (sort of at least) happened because of a bunch of really moronic and reckless royals.

The hall that led to the office was filled with Moroi. I realized all of them were or rather had been in the _Mână._ There were two Guardians keeping an eye on them. Once in front of the office's door, I knocked twice before peeking in. The sight was something I was not ready for. Lissa sat opposite to Kirova. Dimitri, Eddie and a few Guardians lined up the wall. For some reason, my heart started to beat faster. Maybe it was an involuntary response. Years of Guardian training helped me to put on my poker face.

They were all those who had raided on Jesse's group, and again I felt my heart pound when I saw Jean taking up the space where Celeste would have been. Jesse stood next to Lissa. My lips threatened to break into a smile when I realized that Jesse wasn't being given the same treatment as Liss. Alberta was sitting next to Kirova. I mentally groaned. Both of them were going to team up now. Great.

"You called?" I asked nonchalantly, the door was kinda hurting my neck.

"Come in, Miss Hathaway." Alberta said. Kirova didn't even look away from Jesse.

I went to stand next to Liss.

"Sit." Alberta ordered.

I sat, keeping my Guardian expression in place.

Kirova let Jesse go telling him that he had landed himself a week's worth of detention and two weeks of suspension. Jesse didn't even argue. I didn't even feel the smugness that I might have felt on seeing Jesse Zeklos being told off. Instead, I felt anger. Anger because it had been because of Jesse that the wards had broken in the first place.

Those outside, were going to suffer the same fate. Three guardians followed him out, perhaps to keep the Royals outside in check, leaving only Dimitri and Eddie.

"I want you to explain, _in detail_ , about what you saw when you ran to help Miss Dragomir." Alberta said to me.

I had already submitted my final report about the attack. That had been something difficult to write. I had tried to make sure that my emotions were kept at bay while writing that report. I was going to do the same now. I began to talk, telling them that Adrian, Christian and Eddie had been with me when we had realized that Lissa hadn't arrived for dinner. I told them about what I saw, the stones hitting both of us, the two guys holding her, she telling her attackers again and again to stop. The torture with water and air. Eddie and I had arrived before they could attack her with fire, but Spirit had already taken control over Lissa, I hesitated on that part, but something told me that they already knew about it. Then I told them about me taking away Lissa's rage and going after Jesse.

"It wasn't her fault." Lissa said just as I finished. "She did that to protect me. It was me who lost control of Spirit. My friends and I are still figuring it out, we didn't know something like that could every happen."

Actually, we did know that, or at least, Dimitri and I did. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears. Spirit was the reason I took her away in the human world. Not just to keep her safe from anyone who might take her away, but also from herself. What if they took me away like they had done to Miss Karp? I felt myself shudder.

I didn't want to leave.

"We understand that she did those things to keep you safe, but the thing is, what if it happens again? She could even end up hurting you." Alberta said.

"No, I won't." I said firmly. "No matter what, I would never hurt Lissa. I know, I might not be able to control the darkness around other, but with Lissa, I know I would never lose control."

Kirova sighed, finally a response. "Overlooking this...problem, we all know that Hathaway is one of our best and dedicated students."

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. Praise, _for me,_ from Ellen Kirova's mouth; had the universe gone insane?

"Don't look so surprised, Rose. We all believe that you are going to be a great Guardian one day, you are one right now, even if you haven't graduated. Guardian Belikov has done an excellent job." Kirova said with a smile.

 _A great Guardian._ My heart skipped a beat. I felt myself smile. My pride increased by a hundred. Guardian Rose Hathaway, that sounded cool. That sounded badass.

Of course, I knew that there was nothing badass about being a killing machine.

Lissa's was grinning widely. Alberta chuckled when I didn't respond.

"Well, it's rare to see you so quiet."

"She has her moments." Lissa responded, still beaming at me.

I scoffed. "I can stay quiet when I want to." I was still thinking about me being an actual Guardian. Oh, Vlad, I was going to be a Guardian. It nearly made me jump out of the chair. But I managed to maintain my cool.

I turned my head a little, watching Dimitri out of the corner of my eyes. His face didn't give away anything, but his eyes, his eyes were glowing.

I straightened up in my seat.

I felt like a little kid who had been told that she was getting an early Christmas present. Or maybe this was how little kids felt considering that I hadn't ever celebrated Christmas properly.

Alberta looked at some file in front of her.

"We have also been informed that the Queen sent out person invites to both of you. Is that correct?" She asked.

Just like the rest of us, she too was bewildered that Tatiana had sent _personal_ invite to me.

Lissa and I nodded

"Do either of you have any idea why you have been summoned?" Alberta didn't take her eyes off me.  
Translation: _did you piss off the Queen, Rose?_

I shook my head.

"The invite read that it was confidential." Lissa supplied.

Kirova sighed, suddenly looking her age for once. I hadn't noticed it before, but she had circles under her eyes. She was exhausted.

"We will take care of the arrangements and inform you." Alberta went back to 'guardian mode'.

"Dismissed."

Lissa and I left together while Eddie walked behind us. Lissa was deep in thought. I took that opportunity to fall behind so that I could walk with Dimitri.

"What's going? Alberta and Kirova seemed a little tensed." I murmured.

"Not here." He whispered, staring straight ahead. His arms were at his side and his guardian mask on.

Realizing that I wasn't going to get anything else right now, I, too, stared ahead.

But it was difficult when the love of my life was walking next to me. I couldn't help but take a peek at him. Staring at him made me smile. Something I had thought I was going to take care of when I graduated. After all, if, _when_ Dimitri and I were sent off to missions together, I wasn't going to just ogle at him and smile like a fool.

His jaw was set, his eyes were sharp, focused. His hands were relaxed, but I knew if he felt that there was a threat, he would get in a fighting stance in less than a second.

"Are you done staring at me?" He said softly, a half, amused smile gracing his lips.

I felt heat rise up my neck and cheeks. "Can't help it, comrade. I have very handsome and hot mentor."

His eyes flashed dangerously, not in warning but something that would get us in trouble. I grinned cheekily at him.

He shook his head with a sharp exhale.

As we turned to corner, a high-pitched voice made our group turn.

"Guardian Belikov. Wait. Please." I saw a woman, a dhampir, probably around twenty with short blonde hair and a round face coming towards us.

I stopped. She was taller than me, her blue-grey eyes gave the rest of us a once over and seemingly decided that we weren't much of an importance of her. She nodded once to Lissa.

"Princess."

Lissa smiled in greeting.

Then she turned her attention back towards Dimitri. I didn't like the way she smiled at him. I didn't like the way she touched her arm or the way she kept on shifting her weight on one foot and then the other.

"Guardian James." Dimitri nodded. His guardian mask was back in place.

"I need your help, Guardian Belikov. The rotation schedules. There's some trouble with that." She said. She seemed way more casual than the other Guardians that I had seen.

Dimitri nodded, then turning to us he said, "Castile, will you be alright taking Vasilisa to her class?"

Eddie nodded, looking nothing but professional.

"And you Rose-"

I waved him off. "I'll be fine. Won't do anything reckless.I'll see you for our practice, Guardian Belikov." I smiled sweetly at him, like the obedient student I was.

He seemed startled. I stared at Guardian James for a moment and then linked arms with Lissa.

"Let's go, Liss. By the way, thanks for your gift guys. Even Adrian, for one, was considerate." I said happily.

Lissa, still oblivious to what I was actually doing, grinned.

"I know. That was so sweet of him. Right?"

Lissa, Eddie and I walked on without a backward glance. I heard footsteps getting further away by each passing second.

Then the three of us reached the Moroi dorms.

The Moroi dorm was completely deprived of the sun. I wasn't sure how long was it going to take for the authorities to change back to nocturnal schedule. I secretly hoped that we got the chance to see the sun for a few more days.

Lissa seemed to have the same thing in her mind.

"I missed the sun. I still can't sometimes believe that I am here. It feels like yesterday when we were laughing about you eating tacos with ketchup and Jeff and Kelly, they were horrified." Lissa laughed.

Eddie and I chuckled too.

"I remember when you did that here. What poor soul had to go through Rose logic? I can barely get used to it and I have known you since we were seven." Eddie said.

"Come on, my logic comes very handy in tough situations. It's like my version of spidey sense." I shot back.

Eddie snorted.

"Really, though. I remember how upset you were about the basketball thing. I know how much you loved it, Rose. I wish you could have taken it up here." Lissa said.

Basketball in the Academy was more like a hobby. There weren't actually any official teams. We had sports, mostly for the dhampirs.

I remembered how I had almost given us away while playing basketball one night. I hadn't realized that the coach there had seen me and tried to make me join the team.

A part me had wanted to join but at that time, I knew I couldn't have risked Lissa.

"I would still love to play sometime." I grinned. "But with all the training and stuff, I just can't." I went on towards the cheerful topics.

"Remember Cal? The guy you had a crush on. All you two talked about was politics and indie bands. Who does that when they are watching a live football game?"

Lissa smacked my arm. It barely even tickled. "Hey. He was nice."

"Well, better than Jeff. He just didn't know when to back off." I clicked my tongue. I frowned as I realized where we were. "Do you really wanna go to class?"

Lissa thought about it for a second. "Let's go somewhere else. It's been so long since you and I sat down and just, you know talked."

Yeah, it had been a while.

"Life, Liss. Life." I said in a dramatic tone.

Lissa gave a snort which probably would have earned her look had we been around some Royals.

"You won't rat us out, right?" She asked Eddie.

I answered for him. "Nah, chill. He's fine with it."

Eddie smiled. "I am just supposed to follow you. Not tell you when to ditch a class. But seriously, I have never met someone who studies so much."

Lissa grumbled something under her breath. I laughed.

"I know, right? And don't get me started on her 'extra reading'."

"I am not that bad. And you know Her Majesty is basically bribing me by sending us off to Lehigh. I am just excited."

"People get drunk when they are excited, Liss. They celebrate." I said dryly, "Wait, just celebrate and don't get drunk."

She made a face.

When we reached her room, she turned to Eddie.

"I hate to be rude, Eddie, but can you stay outside for a few minutes? I just want to talk with Rose, really quick."

I looked at her, slightly startled.

"Sure." Eddie said and went to stand next to her door.

Lissa all but dragged me to her room and locked the door.

"Sit down, Rose." She said pointing to the bed.

I sat. She began to pace.

I waited for her to say something.

"What's going on with you?" She asked abruptly.

I frowned, "what do you mean?"

Lissa stopped. "It's just, I feel like we are, you know, falling apart. Like, I don't know how to say it, Rose. I mean,"

I stopped her ramblings. "Lissa, you are my best friend. You can ask me anything."

She gave a smile, a smile full of disappointment. "Are we really? Friends don't hide stuff from each other! Something's bothering you and-" She raised her hand to stop me, "don't deny it, Rose."

I sighed and leant back against the headboard.

"I am fine, Liss." The lie came out easily.

Lissa gave me a look that said shut-the-hell-up.

"I am serious. I am okay." I knew no matter how many times I was going to say I was fine, she was not going to stop until she got a reasonable answer from me. "I am mostly worried about graduation. I mean, for my whole life, I knew what I was training to be. I knew what I wanted to be. I still do. But after what happened in Spokane, and this attack, it made me realize that I am not at all prepared." I stopped her when she tried to interrupt. Right now, the words were just coming out of my mouth. I hadn't realized how much I had missed talking to Lissa. We used to have endless talks about our future.

"I know everyone says that I am a great fighter. Hell, Kirova just complemented me. I am physically prepared. I know I can kill Strigoi, I know I can protect you. But mentally, I am exhausted, Liss. I am so tired. All this death and... it's just," I closed my eyes.

What if something happened to Dimitri? To Eddie? I remembered Stan once saying that a quarter of our class would die in our first year as Guardian. I had seen the statistics myself when Mason and I had worked for a project together back in eighth grade. Sure, it hadn't been about the Guardian numbers but we had accidently stumbled upon the file.

It wasn't just that.

I knew I was more anxious about Dimitri and me. Not just anxious, but excited and happy too. And yet, my mind somehow always ended to the time I had found out about the Badica's Guardians running away together. I didn't even know their names. They knew that their relationship would never be accepted by the Moroi world. It had caused an uproar at school. People still gossiped about it like Guardians were just killing machines and not someone who had feelings too.

What if circumstances for Dimitri and I became difficult? What if I had to choose between him and my duty?

My feelings were jumbled. I couldn't seem to get a grip on myself.

It made my head ache.

"One moment, I am badass Rose and the other I am weak-ass Rose." I snorted.

"You are not weak, Rose." Lissa shook her head. She took my hand and squeezed it. "You are anything but weak."

 _Oh, you don't know, Liss._ I thought, as I remembered the terrible fear I had felt when Dimitri had been trying to calm me down in the cabin and then again in the hospital.

I suddenly froze as the realization dawned on me.

My mood swings, all the sudden up and down in my confidence. Of course, _of course,_ it had to be the darkness making me lose my mind.

I had never felt like this before.

It had to be the darkness.

My little happy dance ended when I became aware of what the ghosts had said the last I had seen them.

"What?" Liss asked.

I hesitated. "I think it might be the darkness affecting my behavior."

"But I am completely cut off from magic." She frowned.

"I know, but I think what affecting me is the darkness that's already there. I am not taking it from you these days, so there's nothing to fuel it but my own thoughts." I said.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we were still out there." Lissa whispered.

I frowned. I wouldn't have been able to even punch a Strigoi. I wouldn't have met Dimitri.

I couldn't imagine not being with him. Dimitri was a huge part of my life. I felt my lips threatening to smile. I could imagine a future with Dimitri very clearly, even if that future had many possibilities. But I couldn't imagine it without him.

"What about Christian?" I asked.

Lissa nodded. "Last night I wasn't thinking about the good things of being away from Academy but then I sort of realized that the bad things outnumbered the good ones."

I nodded. "Yeah. It's hard to imagine. I mean we could have run away to L.A." Lissa and I laughed.

"You wanted to be an actress when we were seven." Lissa said, smiling.

"You could have been my manager."

"I would have loved to pick out your dresses and go like 'Rose, you have an interview at seven'. It would have been nice."

"Other than the fact that I can't act. And we would be risking our exposure." I shrugged. It was absurd, but still great to talk about.

I pulled Lissa's arm and looked at her wrist watch.

"Your class starts in ten." I said with a scowl.

I was really having fun. We hadn't had these stupid conversations in months.

"Yeah," She sighed.

She got up and started to gather her books. Suddenly, she stopped.

"Oh no!"

Startled, I looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot to ask you about the gifts."

I laughed.

* * *

 **Hi. I am sorry for the delay. It took me a while to type this out. I was intending to make a convo about Dimitri and Rose in this but then changed my mind, instead I steered towards some much required convos between two eighteen-year olds.**

 **Did you guys watch Infinity War? Oh, Merlin. It was...not gonna say anything other than I cried in the theatre and then left as fast as I could and cried when I got home.**

 **Back to VA. This one's not going to have a lot of chapters. It's going to be mostly one-shots with some chapters thrown in and some related to each other.**

 **Tell me if you like it. And you can also suggest some other AUs.**

 **I have a what if Abe and Janine were in Rose's life. Two Character deaths. A Tasha AU. And one in which Rose is taken instead of Dimitri but is not changed rather is turned into a blood whore. That was the first Au that I wrote. I have been working on it for a few months now. I got inspired from some documentaries about drugs. It's not complete. But I have nine parts of it written.**

 **Thanks for reading, following, and reviewing this story. It makes me so, so happy.**

 **See you soon.**

 **Sacraa.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I don't own VA.**_

 _ **Vampire Academy.**_

 _ **AU.**_

 _ **1.4.**_

Sometimes, life tests you. And sometimes, life decided to hold an exam which is totally out of syllabus and, moreover, you decided to just take the fucking exam, knowing full well that it would ruin your life. Okay, maybe this wasn't the right analogy. But I was speechless, even my thoughts were downright in shambles.

It was my worst nightmare come true.

And yet, I sat there, with a smile on my face, pretending that everything was alright, pretending that as if, just a second ago, my hopes and dreams hadn't slipped away from my hands.

I supposed that it was life's way of saying 'in your face, bitch!'

I really didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that whatever the Queen Bitch had just said, ruined my life forever.

It wasn't like I wanted to say yes to her. But the circumstances made me do it.

I was going to live as the Queen's person lab rat for the rest of my life.

It had all started when Lissa and I had been called for a meeting with Tatiana. Dimitri and Eddie came with us to the Court, Dimitri because, well, he was Lissa's sanctioned Guardian and Eddie because he was Lissa's temporary Guardian. Oh, and Adrian tagged along too, because, well he was Adrian-I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck-Ivashkov.

We went there. Eddie wasn't allowed to go so he stayed in his room. Dimitri kept on standing against a wall with other Guardians, while Lissa and I were asked to sit. Adrian had already made himself comfortable on a loveseat.

Pleasantries were exchanged, a fake smile here and a fake smile there and all the bullshit on Lissa and how useful she was to the Moroi world. Lissa couldn't see it, but I knew that Tatiana just wanted to use my sweet best friend as an influencer amongst young Moroi. That and she wanted Adrian and Lissa to get married. Tatiana probably already had decided the venue of the reception and the guest list. I'd bet that I wasn't invited.

I mentally snorted. Ridiculous.

Right, back to the situation in front of me.

The bomb had just dropped. And I felt like I got blown to bits.

I really didn't know how I could ever stay away from protecting Lissa. But now, I could picture myself getting up in a room with white walls and a single bed with white sheets. There was nothing in that room, other than a closet and a table next to the bed, like in a hospital. The ceiling was tiled and the light pierced my eyes as woke up. I could picture a couple of people taking reports on my nightly routine.

I could see myself walking in a room with machines and needles, lots of needles, the hospital smell in the air. Then pain, and then me sitting behind a desk for hours and then back in the room with machines.

 _Shut up, Rose._

I felt like I would cry.

"We just want to observe how the Spirit bond works. Of course, we don't want Vasilisa to be pressured in any way, so she will continue her life at Lehigh normally. We just want to see how it impacts you Rosemarie. After reading the reports from your counsellor and what happened at the raid, I insist that you allow us to get to know more about the Spirit darkness. Vasilisa, we want you to start using your magic again." Tatiana smiled.

Adrian erupted first. "Auntie, you know Lissa can't. It will hurt Rose. She could-"

Tatiana raised her hand. Adrian fell silent.

My mouth dried up.

I could see Lissa shaking slightly.

"Now, now, Adrian. You have been under the influence of Spirit for a long time. You said it yourself that having a bond tends to take off burden from both the bond mates. I am sure Rose can handle it. It's just for a while. It's fairly simple, Adrian, we just want to put Rose in different situations and see how the Spirit would affect her. It's all for the greater good. Rosemarie's name will go down in history." Her face told me that there was no room for discussion, that I had no other choice.

A part of me wondered if she knew that if I was going to stay at Court forever, then so would Lissa. Maybe she did. Maybe that's why she wanted me to be here. I knew as a Guardian I could still have gotten reassigned to anywhere in the world. But with me being 'captive' I knew Lissa would never leave me, even if it was the right thing to do. Maybe, that's what she wanted. A way to keep Lissa close.

My mind felt like it would explode. It wasn't the darkness type heading but like a regular headache.

Ugh, my emotions had spilt themselves into darkness type emotions and normal emotions and I didn't even know how long I could keep them from getting entangled with one another.

"So, Rose. What do you say?"

I refused to look at Dimitri and I answered. "I...I accept."

"Excellent." She clapped her hands, "We will begin after you complete your schooling at St. Vladimir's Academy. Till then, you will have to come here each time we summon you."

It had been over two hours since we'd left that chamber and I hadn't talked to anyone. I had just locked myself in my room and ignored Lissa and Adrian's knocks at the door. Then had given up just half an hour ago. Poor Eddie had to be pulled away by force. He didn't know what had happened, but I was sure that Liss and Adrian had filled him up.

They didn't know that Dimitri was with me. I was glad that he was here. I knew I wouldn't have been able to show my face to Lissa or to rant about the Queen Bitch to Adrian. I knew that Eddie would have tried to understand but he wouldn't be able to. Dimitri and I didn't feel like the need for words. The silence was more than enough to convey what we were feeling.

We were on a queen-sized bed with the mattress so soft, I felt like I would sink into it and I really wanted to. I wanted to sink and to never come up again. I was grateful, that unlike the last time we had been at court, I was given separate room this time.

Tears were still streaming down my face as he held me. Thankfully, he didn't say anything. He knew I still needed time to grasp this.

He just held me close.

Finally, I found my voice again.

"You have to keep her safe, Dimitri. It has to be you now." I pulled myself up slightly so that I could look at him.

"Roza-" he started. I cut him off by hiccupping.

"You and I both know that the chances of me being her Guardian are zero. Promise me, Dimitri. Promise me, that you will protect her. For me." I pleaded, but the hiccups sort of made my voice come out funny.

In that moment, he looked even more broken than me.

Then he clenched his jaw and nodded. "I will."

It felt like a burden had come of my shoulders. "Thank...thank you." I said with another sob.

He kissed my forehead. "I am so sorry, Roza. I couldn't even-"

"No one can do anything about it, comrade. Don't blame yourself." I touched his face and tried to put on a smile but failed miserably.

"Still, I wish I could." He whispered.

This time, I smiled for real. "I know."

He and I leant in the same time. Our lips met. It was more than just a kiss. All the stress turned into something else as we pulled each other closer. I suddenly couldn't get enough of him. My body seemed to burn, my legs felt weak.

And I started to cry again.

"I... I am sorry," I choked out.

"Roza, Roza, look at me. It will be fine."

I shook my head. I probably looked like a mess right now, not exactly how I wanted the love of my life to see me as.

His phone rang and we both jumped.

He gave me an apologetic smile, "It's from the Academy."

I nodded and pulled myself out of the bed. There was an attached bathroom, thankfully, unlike at the Academy.

I was right, I did look like a mess, a horrible mess. The little mascara and eyeliner that Lissa had applied on my eyes made me look like I had two black eyes. The braid that I had put my hair in would take me hours to untangle. Trails of black tears made it seem that someone, a very bad painter perhaps, had drawn lines on my face.

I washed my face with cold water, making my clothes wet. Shivering, I reached for a towel, which had probably never been used before, and ran it over my face, scrubbing hard to get the remove the black eyeliner.

I managed to undo my braid. My damp hair was sticking to my face, making me feel itchy. Knowing that nothing could be done now, I left the bathroom.

Dimitri was still on the phone. My mind barely registered what he was saying.

I sat down the edge of the bed, staring at nothing in particular.

What was to become of me? I already felt as if I had lost a huge part of myself.

Was I just a mere object?

My whole life, I had been taught that the Moroi came first. That our needs were nothing against theirs. That we were to protect them until our last breath.

What sort of system was this?

And worst of all, why was I letting them decide my future?

Oh, right, because I would have nowhere to go to.

"Rose?"

I jumped, my fist in a clench and my arm out, ready to punch.

Dimitri stopped my fist before it could connet with his ribs.

"Ah, shit, sorry, comrade." I fumbled with my words.

He kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes.

"It's alright, Roza, breath."

I took a few deep breaths, wanting to distract myself, I asked, "What was the call about?"

Dimitri hesitated for a moment.

"The council has decided to change the headmaster."

My eyes flew open. "What?"

He nodded.

"The school council can't-"

"Not the school, the Moroi council." He said, looking grim.

"What?" I screeched. "Why are they interfering?"

There went my distraction.

"A Lazar Lord. That means-"

"Fucking Royals," I muttered. "It was their kids' fault that the wards broke and then Tatiana wants to make me her pet and now this!"

Dimitri rubbed his forehead.

"I wish...I wish I could just leave all this behind me." I said in a quiet voice.

Dimitri's face snapped up. "You don't mean that," he said hoarsely.

Looking at his drained face, I suddenly realized how the Badica's Guardians had decided to run away. Maybe we could too. Maybe not. But at least I knew that my answer held truth.

"I do."

 **So, hi, sorry for the late update. I haven't been focusing on my writing past these few months. School has been hectic and I keep panicking about colleges.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am so grateful to all of you.**

 **I am also thinking about ending this Au in a couple of chapters and I already have two other AUs, after this one, written.**

 **See you soon.**

 **Sacraa.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**I don't own anything.**_

 _ **Vampire Academy.**_

 _ **Alternate Ending.**_

 _ **1.5**_

* * *

Being sleep deprived was something that didn't, or rather, _shouldn't_ matter to Guardians or Novices. But still, sleep was important. A necessity for some and a privilege for other, read _for Guardians._ As novices, we received special training to control our sleeping patterns. I remembered when I was thirteen. Twice a week, the novices had to join some of our dhampir teachers and protect the three gymnasia that were assigned to us during that year. We had been divided into teams and were treated as real Guardians. That had been amazing for the first two weeks.

Then our sleep started to hamper our routines. We were tired all the time, sometimes even falling asleep during theory classes. Each one of us has bags under our eyes and the whole year, we continued to receive sympathetic looks from our teachers. Gradually though, we learned to control our sleeping habits. We learned to wake up at the sound of a twig snapping. We learned to make ourselves fall asleep and wake up within fifteen minutes.

We learned that sleep was not meant for everyone and it had to be treated as a privilege.

I hadn't slept in the last thirty-six hours. I remembered being proud of myself when I had stayed up for twenty-seven hours for the first time. My friends had congratulated me and my best friends had stayed away from sleep deprived Rose.

At this moment, I hated Strigoi with a passion that couldn't be expressed.

"Rose, your anger's not helping right now," Dimitri said, as he chugged down his coffee while I sipped my soda.

I shot him a glare, "Don't go Zen on me now, comrade." I said. "Please," I added. Dimitri was just as sleep deprived as I was. Only, he wasn't showing it.

He slid in next to me and took my free hand in his. "This will be over soon and then we can go back."

I suppose I should explain the situation.

We had arrived back at the Academy a day after our meeting with Tatiana. It was now two days later.

Three novices and three Guardians, Meredith, Dean and I along with Dimitri, Jean and Guardian Elena James were sent out to check out the highway via which the new headmaster was coming. Apparently. Headmaster Lazar hated to fly so his children were coming in a jet provided by the Academy and the headmaster Lazar was on his way. Actually, he was _already_ at the Academy. He'd reached there hours ago, escorted by Meredith and Elena. But before they team had reached there, three Strigoi had been spotted a few miles away from the cars. So, Dean and Jean had checked it out. But before anything could happen, the Strigoi ran away. The thing was Dimitri had spotted two more joining them.

While Jean and Dean were scouting the trail through the woods, Dimitri and I were keeping an eye on the Strigois' hideout. Currently, there were only two in a surprisingly, well-maintained house. Dimitri and I were far enough that they could neither hear or smell us, in other words, we were sitting inside a small diner and the scent of humans was doing a great job of covering us.

There wasn't much population around here. But I had talked to one of the two waitresses here and she had told us that two people had gone missing in the last one week.

Naturally, we had to interfere and be the hero. Okay, maybe, _maybe,_ I was glad to be away from school and on an impromptu mission.

I sighed and dropped on a visit to Lissa. She had stopped the pills on Tatiana's order. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and pushed the queen bitch at the back of my mind. Everyone was gathered for the welcome of the new headmaster. A day ago, Kirova had called for an assembly and declared that she wasn't leaving the Academy, just leaving her post.

I- _Lissa-_ was sitting next to Christian with other Royals in the front ad listening to the Lazar go on and on, on how glad he was to join the team and what plans he had for the future and how much he was regretting the loss we'd just faced.

I grimaced. Here I was listening to his boring shit which was making me even more drowsy.

I pulled back to where I was. I heard the door open and my eyes automatically flew there.

Dean and Jean entered. I was about to stand up when Dimitri caught my elbow. I nodded once to Dimitri.

Dean was limping slightly but otherwise looked unharmed. Jean looked okay but I noticed that she wasn't moving her left arm and when she had to scratch her nose, she winced. They were chatting and smiling about something, though Dean wasn't that good of an actor. They joined us after quickly telling the waiter near them to get a bottle of water.

"Took care of two. They had separated. We don't know where the third went." Jean said casually. Dean slumped in his seat and let out a sigh.

Dimitri nodded.

"Those still in there?" Jean nodded towards the window.

"Yes," Dimitri responded. "Still-"

The waiter came with a bottle of water and a few glasses.

"Thanks." Jean grinned.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked, giving Dimitri a side glance.

"Dean?" Jean asked.

"Just a shake. Chocolate." He said. "And fries."

"Make that two and I'll have a coke," Jean said.

"Nothing for us," I said. Dimitri nodded.

"You sure, Hathaway, I don't like sharing my fries," Dean said in a teasing tone. I teasingly slapped his arm.

The waiter left and we got down to business again. Dimitri filled them up on what happened while they were gone while Jean told us on how they had cornered two Strigoi. Thankfully, Dean had brought an extra jacket because Jean's had been ripped and Dean was hiding an elbow injury under his.

The waiter arrived with the fries and drinks. Jean said a quick thank you and sent him off.

We had to take three of them out as soon as we could. If the third one had already reached the other two (which I knew he hadn't) it would make it difficult for us. Dark clouds were already setting over us and we had to hurry before an innocent could die.

They were bound to go hunting today because the last kill was about three days ago.

We had to attack them within the next couple of hours before the two in the house could leave.

"Dimitri," I said as I looked through the window and at the house. The third Strigoi was going in.

"It's time, then. Will you two be alright?" Dimitri said to Jean and Dean.

They nodded.

"I will lead. Jean, you'll stay behind me. Dean, you will flank the back of the house. Rose you in front. There's just one floor. It will be, hopefully, easy."

We nodded without arguing.

"Remember, try not to engage alone. You are already injured and we don't want casualties or draw attention to ourselves." Dimitri further added.

We left as soon as we were done with the bill.

The four of us split off.

I felt my stake burning in the pocket of my jeans. I stuffed my hands in the jacket pocket and kept on walking.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dean go around another, seemingly abandoned house, to go towards the target. Jean and Dimitri were nowhere to be seen.

My heart was pounding. My fingers were clammy.

I felt something, _someone,_ walk behind me. My breathing hitched and something sharp stabbed my head. I gasped.

 _Ahh!_

My eyes were pricking. I couldn't see properly. The pain was too much. I sank down to my knees and clutched my head.

Were the others alright? What were they do-"

The pain seemed to increase and my ears started to ring.

Then it stopped.

As if nothing had happened. It stopped.

I blinked around in surprise. I wasn't on my knees. I was standing upright in the middle of the road.

 _What the hell had happened?_

There was no one behind me. I touched my head and and... nothing.

My eyes fell on Dimitri who was right in front of the house. He was staring at me.

 _Get to the house, Rose. You can't compromise this!_

Right.

To the house. I kept on walking, but still... what the fuck had just happened?

I saw Jean follow Dimitri inside. I stood, leaning against a wall, trying to focus all my attention towards what we were about to do.

Merely seconds later, I heard a yelp.

My ears picked up the low growls and grunts inside. I could hear their footsteps too.

Then a slump.

 _One down, hopefully._

The grunts continued and then what I had dreaded, a scream, Jean's scream.

 _Shit._

I knew leaving my spot would be disobeying a direct order.

I ran inside, my stake in my hand, ready to strike.

My eyes immediately fell on the brunette Strigoi hovering over Jean. Dimitri seemed to be having a hard time too. The Strigoi he was fighting seemed ancient.

I jumped at the brunette one.

He let out a snarl and threw me on my back.

 _Perfect._

Landing a kick at his side, I quickly turned around and kicked the back of his knee. His legs gave up and I slashed my stake over his face. He howled in pain.

By now, Dean had joined us and was taking Jean out of the way of any more harm.

"She's breathing." I heard him say.

Dimitri and his Strigoi were grappling on the ground. He had the upper hand at least.

My strigoi slowly got up. He was beyond angry now.

"That's all you got?" I taunted, noticing Dean getting behind him.

The Strigoi and I got into another match if fists and kicks.

It was going well. My stake's pointed part was sticking right over his heart.

And then, the pain. The intense, stabbing pain.

I cried out. I felt a kick at my hand and heard my stake landing far away. A blow to my stomach made me fly back towards a wall.

But it was nothing compared to what was going on in my head.

 _Traitor._ A voice hissed.

 _Stay away from me._ I screamed. _Get back!_

A dark figure was closing in and so was the Strigoi. Somehow, the Strigoi turned and got distracted. But the spirit kept on walking, talking out its hand.

 _Let's go. It's time for you to join us._

 _No, please, no._ I whimpered.

 _You have to, Rose. You can't deny that any longer._ A hand touched my head. It felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice water over me, followed by searing coals.

I screamed and screamed and screamed.

* * *

 **Hey, guys. So, here's the next chapter. A bit dramatic, I know. But just couldn't help myself!**

 **Anyway, thank you for your reviews. And Yeah, I get what you mean about colleges, Shadowapple of Thunderclan, but it just gets into your head sometimes and it gets to a point where you have a breakdown.**

 **Thank you very. Very much for reading WSHH. I am trying to figure out a cool ending, but then I realized it doesn't have to be cool, but just something meaningful and something touches my readers. And I have a few different endings in my mind and let's see what happens next.**

 **See you soon.**

 **Sacraa.**


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